Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Biggest Meatiest Tastiest

The best dog in the whole world was Widgeon Wolfpack Craft. Dennis and I liked to say she was Weginald of the Wegiment (it didn't make sense then either). She was not always the best dog in the world though. Like most puppies, she got into all kinds of shenanigans. One in particular made me very mad.
I was in preschool at the time and taking ballet lessons. One night after dance class Mom and I stopped at Subway for dinner and we got the sub that we always shared.
Side note: To this day I still order a BMT with lettuce, olives, pickles, mustard, salt, pepper, and vinegar. I think this is my favorite sub, but I have never tried anything else. I realize now that this is Mom's favorite sandwich and she always ordered a footlong and split it with me to save money and convinced me that this was also my favorite sub. I may never know what my actual favorite is.
So I brought my sandwich home and got my dinner all ready. Mom got me a glass of milk and I had a chocolate dough nut all ready for dessert. This was going to be the best dinner ever and I really needed to replenish my nutrients after a long night of preschool ballet class. The feast was laid out on the table and I was getting ready to sit down, when I suddenly remembered that I had to go to the bathroom. Well that is quite a production when you are in preschool and wearing a leotard. Basically, I was gone from the kitchen for about 10 minutes wrestling with that darn leotard.
When I came back to the kitchen my whole dinner was gone and the glass of milk was turned over!! My delicious sub and doughnut were gone. I looked around and all I saw was Widgeon the puppy sitting in the corner finishing off my BMT. To say I was mad would be an understatement. Not only was I mad, but I was also hungry. This is a bad combination for a preschool ballerina.
I started crying and stomped upstairs to find Mom and Dad. I burst into their room and declared that I wanted to kill Widgeon. I hated her! Dad simply said, "Ok Caroline. Wait here." A few minute later he came back and took me to the kitchen. We went to the knife drawer and handed me a big steak knife. Then we went into the garage where Widgeon was in her pen. She looked so happy there with her belly full of my dinner. Dad looked at me with the knife in my hand and said, "Go ahead, kill her."
I couldn't believe it. He thought I was going to kill our cute little puppy! Suddenly, my Subway sub and chocolate doughnut were not as big of a deal as I had thought 3 seconds before. I handed Dad the knife and ran back inside.
It's a very good thing I did not kill her that day because like I said, she was the best dog ever.
But reader beware. Do not steal my food. I may not have mercy next time.