Hi Pretty Boy

So I told my brother that that was going to be my pick up line in the future. All I would have to do is walk up to a boy and say, "Hi pretty boy." Then of course we would fall in love and get married. I don't think it actually works like that. I did have quite a few crushes back then though. Of course most of my crushes happened to be my brother's friends from the neighborhood. They were two years older than me and sooo cool. I mean these boys got to go to the 9:00-midnight skate session, they were practically grown-ups.

My biggest neighborhood crush was Cody. He was was Dennis's best friend and he was at our house a lot. I would always try to play with them even though neither of them wanted me to. I had this big trash bag full of fabric scraps and some sewing stuff. One night some of my friends were over and we were playing in the fabric, just making little things and I had a great idea. I decided that I would make Cody a pair of boxers. It was so scandalous, but I thought it would definitely make him fall in love me. I really liked to pretend that I was dating AJ from backstreet boys, Chris from N'Sync, and Drew from 98 degrees, but I knew that I actually may have a real chance with Cody. So I made him a pair of boxers. Then when Dennis and Cody came home that night Sarah Margaret immediately tells Cody that I made him something. It was at this point that I realized I had made a huge mistake. I could not make boxers for the boy I liked. He would think that I was weird! All I could do was bashfully hand them to him and awkwardly chuckle and say it was a joke. Then I ran to my room and hid for the rest of the night. Cody and I were not soul mates after all.

Another crush I had was one of Dennis's friends, but he was also one of my best friend's brother. His name was Brad. He rode a loogie green Fat Boy trick bike. What could be better? He was always playing pranks on Corie, Sally, and I when we spent the night at Sally's house. One time when I was spending the night it was time to get ready for bed. I was changing clothes in Sally's room when Brad busted in to ask if he could borrow her Chumbawumba CD. I was naked. We were both embarrassed. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. We were not soul mates either. I don't know if I ever told Sally that I had a humungo crush on her brother. Sally, if you are reading this, I used to think I was in love with Brad.
I have yet to use my pick up line. Maybe one day. I still think it could work.

The Dangers of Ice Cream

All through elementary school we lived in Chespeake, VA. It was a good place to grow up. My neighborhood was called Foxgate Quarters. I don't know why. There were no foxes or gates. But it was cool because in the summer the ice cream man would come through our neighborhood. It was just like in the movies, he has the fun colorful truck that played "The Entertainer" as he drove through. However, unlike in the movies the ice cream man actually created a very stressful five minutes for me and my friends. Usually we would be playing in someone's backyard or swimming when we would hear the music from the truck. We knew that we had a short window to make it into the house, convice our moms to give us money, then out to the street before the truck drove away. It was a very frantic process, and for me, a dangerous process. I always got hurt when I would try to get ice cream from the ice cream man. It was inevitable.

One time Corie and I were swimming in my backyard when we heard the truck so we jumped out of the pool and without bothering to dry off or put clothes on we got our money and rain out to the street. The truck had already left our block so we ran down to the next block. On our way we noticed some glass on the sidewalk, and since we had not put shoes on we both made a note to be careful of the glass. In all the excitement of getting a strawberry scooter to snack on I forgot about the glass. So while we were walking back I felt a pain in my foot and then realized I was leaving a trail of blood behind me. Yes, I had stepped on the glass and cut my foot wide open. I still have a scar from that incident. Another time I was in my house when I heard the truck. I ran outside. In the middle of my yard there was a little hole, that I knew about, but once again in all the excitement I forgot. I ran out of the door, into the yard, into the hole, and just fell on my face. I didn't even get to get ice cream that time. Then another time I tripped in the street and skinned my knee. I think all the excitement of hearing "The Entertainer" and knowing that I had a limited time to get a delicious ice cream treat just made my mind fly out the window.

My dad told me that all my injuries must be a sign (that is a typical Donnie thing to say, "O it must be a sign"). I was no longer allowed to get ice cream from the ice cream man. I was very sad, but at the same time my life got much less stressful that summer. Still to this very day I have not had ice cream from an ice cream truck since the summer of 1997. But everytime I hear "The Entertainer" I have to be extra careful not to step in holes, or glass, or to just fall down. Who knew that ice cream could be so dangerous?