Dog Breath

This is not me, but this little girl and I share a love of the song "Dog Breath." We used to sing it in Cherub Choir at Great Bridge United Methodist Church with Miss Helen. One of the highlights of my spiritual life at the time I think. I hope you love this song as much as I do. Also, I love that the guy calls himself How Weird.

My Journey Through Orthodontistry

Most people wait until all their baby teeth fall out and come back in, then they get an expander by the end of elementary school and braces in middle or high school. My journey was much more long and complicated than that. I started off with the worst under bite. My bottom teeth were completely in front of my top teeth. I was still the cutest kid ever though. Even in this picture though you can see my jaw jutting out. So it was a priority to get that aligned. My baby teeth were slow to fall out. Everyone I knew at school had lost a tooth, and I was still waiting for that magic moment. It finally happened right before Corie and I were going to see 102 Dalmatians. I was not really sure was all losing a tooth entailed though, and I was worried I would have to miss the movie. My mom assured me that a hole in my mouth would not prevent me from going. I still thought that maybe I needed to lay down for the rest of the afternoon or something. But apparently losing a baby tooth is not a big deal after all. It was a little disappointing. After the one fell out the rest would not, so I had all four of my top front teeth pulled...on the same day. I looked like I had no teeth when I smiled. Cool.

Once these teeth were pulled everything began. I got an expander in Kindergarten to make my mouth wider for all those teeth that needed to grow back in. I had that for a while and it made me talk with a lisp. Then in second grade my four front teeth were fully grown back in. Yes, it took them that long. I got braces on those four teeth and I had the back 6 pulled soon after. Pretty much the only reason I got braces then was so that I would have something to attach my headgear to. That's right, I said headgear. It was bright orange plastic and was attached to my face by rubber bands connected to my braces brackets. Luckily, I only had to wear it at night. The downside to that was the rubber band coming out of my mouth made me drool so much. One night I refused to to wear my headgear and mom told me I could wear it to church in the morning instead. I never thought she would actually make me do it. She did. It was soo embarrassing! So I wore it every night after that.

Once my jaw was perfectly aligned and all my new teeth had come in. I got my headgear off and my four little braces and I was metal free for a little while. Then in 5th grade I got the full set of braces. It was really cool at first. I was the first of all my friends to get a real full set of braces. They all thought I was so cool and mature. The coolness wore off the first time they got tightened. Ouchies! Also, in 5th grade I was not as concerned about oral hygiene. My mom would have to force me to use the Water Pick and brush all the disgusting food out of my braces. I would always gag at the Water Pick in my mouth and be super dramatic about it. I remember one time getting pineapple stuck in my braces and barfing when it came out. I got this second set of braces off in 7th grade and I was the happiest girl.

But I didn't wear my retainer so I was only happy until 8th grade when I got a full set back on. I got these off at the end of my 10th grade year. I still wear retainer to bed every night, and I have a permanent one on my bottom teeth. I am going to wear these until I get married I have decided. Then, this mouth is going to be metal free!! I hope...

What's for dinner?

When I was in fourth grade, Mom decided to go back to work part time. She worked at the shipyard while we were at school and got home about the same time we did. During this time she decided that she did not have enough time to cook dinner every night and she would use this opportunity to teach us. Next thing we knew a new rule had been implemented. We each had to choose one night a week to fix dinner. There was a catch too: you did not have to help clean up after dinner if it was your night to cook. So we all three wanted Friday night so we could go outside and play sooner after dinner. Every Sunday we sat down and chose our night and told Mom what we wanted to fix. We could pretty much make anything we wanted as long as we included a vegetable. Then, she would go to Food Lion and get all of the ingredients we needed for the week. It quickly became apparent that a pattern was forming.

Every week Sarah Margaret would make some variation of english muffin pizzas. This was a very simple and delicious meal for the first 3 weeks. Then it just got old. How many weeks in a row can a kid be expected to endure english muffin pizzas and a salad? Dennis always chose something fancy. He was the only one who would actually look in the cook book and try something new. Surprisingly, it usually turned out really well. He would experiment with flavors and spices. However, this was not less work for Mom because she had to help him a lot. We always looked forward to Dennis' night to cook. Minus the fact that he usually had peas as his vegetable. Can you say barf? I hate peas with my whole heart. I either chose ham or burgers and always mac n cheese. I could not cook any of these things. I mean I was only in fourth grade. So my night was really just an extra night for Mom where I chose the menu and kind of helped her/ got in the way. I was ok with this system. Dad generally chose something pretty standard. One night he made the most disgusting concoction of canned vegetables. He said they used to serve it in his high school cafeteria. Gross. However, more often than not he would call on his way home from work and say he was running late and would not have time to cook. Then we would order pizza on his night. Mom would cook the rest of the week. Usually grilled chicken and sweet potatoes with salad or green beans.

Our meals were pretty predictable. This system of cooking did not last too long. I guess Mom decided it was not such a good idea after all and was even more work for her sometimes. Also, we needed more variety in our meals. Honestly, none of us really tried. It was a half-hearted attempt at cooking dinner. But what do you expect from a weird 4th grader, a 6th grade boy who just wanted to play outside, and a bratty 8th grader?

Good Conduct

We lived in Chesapeake, VA for my whole elementary school career. Sarah Margaret, Dennis, and I were all good students. Every year when we got report cards Dad would tell us that it is important to do well in school and get good grades but one of the most important things is good conduct. If we had good conduct, at the end of the year we got to pick out a special prize. Honestly, I had no idea what the heck conduct was, and it never occurred to me to ask. All I knew was that at the end of the year Dad would look at my report card and read my teacher's comments and decide whether or not I got to pick a prize. Luckily I got to pick something every year. I would hand him my report card and pray that he would see whatever it was that meant I had this mysterious thing called "good conduct".

The best part of the whole thing was going to pick out the prize. We would go to Waterside in Norfolk. Waterside was this indoor mall-ish thing with a few stores and a lot of restaurants. Also, there were boats docked outside because it was beside the water, hence the name Waterside. We never ate in one of the fancy restaurants. We always ate in the food court, and it was the most exciting thing ever! I could get any kind of food I wanted, and I always wanted Sbarros pizza. Where else could I get a slice of pizza that humongous? After we ate we would walk around to the stores. We went in all of them, but there was only one that I cared about. It was the nature store. Sarah Margaret and I always picked out our precious good conduct prizes in this store. Dennis always complained about the absurd amount of time we spent here.

This store had everything great. And by everything great I mean every stuffed animal you could ever want, and I wanted all of them. One of the best prized I ever got was a giant stuffed manatee. I named him Manny. One time I got moon rocks. That's right, moon rocks. How cool is that? Mom would never let me get one of those plastic sacks with the liquid in them that slipped out of your hands. Some people called them snakes. All my friends had them, but Mom was worried that it would fall out of my hands and burst all over the carpet. I also used these good conduct prizes to add to my pound puppy collection. Basically, it was like Christmas at the beginning of the summer.

By the time I learned what good conduct meant (it means good behavior), Dad thought we were too old to continue this tradition. I guess good conduct is not as big of a deal in middle school. O well. Sarah Margaret, Dennis, and I still bring up our good conduct prizes. If there is something that I really want but cannot afford by myself I remind Dad that my professors have not been complaining about my behavior, and that I should get it for good conduct. It never works. I will probably do good conduct prizes with my children, but I will make sure that they know what conduct is. That probably would have made the experience even more meaningful.

Boat Loads of Fun with the Crafts!

The Craft family has always been around water. Ever since I can remember we have had a boat. At first we always had a sail boat, then once we got old enough to do water sports we had a ski boat. My earliest memories of sailing are on Lake Gaston. We kept our boat at Eaton's Ferry Marina. The best part of Eaton's Ferry was buying a little bag of puppy chow to feed to the gigantic cat fish and carp that hang out by the gas tank. Usually our days on the lake were fun and relaxing, but one day in particular was very stressful. It all started when I had to go potty but Mom was too busy to take me to the bathroom. We had not even left the marina yet. She told me to go pee in the woods. So, like a good little girl I went into the woods. I remember taking my shorts off and putting them on the ground. Unfortunately, when I started peeing, or wetting in my family, I wet right onto my shorts. Oops. But I did have a bathing suit to wear for the rest of the day. So then we set out on the boat. The wind promptly carried us into a big section of weeds where we got stuck. Dad tried to use the motor to get us out, but the weeds just got all tangled around the turbines. Once we finally made our way out of the weeds, we decided to anchor and eat lunch and swim. I can still picture Dad standing on the bow of the boat holding the anchor, and swinging it out over the boat. Too bad he forgot to tie one end of the rope to the boat. All five of us watched our anchor sink to the bottom of the lake. No one wanted to say anything, we could all see how frustrated Dad was. We did make it back to the marina though, and we lived to sail another day.

Our favorite activity to do while sailing was rope riding. Dad would get a long rope and tie it to the back of the boat so it made a big loop in the water. Then, Sarah Margaret, Dennis, and I would put on life jackets and jump into the water. The rope would just slowly drag us behind the boat. It was very exciting for a preschooler. Sometimes it got too exciting and I would get acred and go ladder riding instead. I would just stand on the ladder off the back of the boat so Mom and Dad were still close by. On one outing I remember Dad let Sarah Margaret steer and he told her she was first mate. I immediately asked what my title was. They decided I would be the maid. I was so glad to have a title, that I didn't realize they were taking advantage of me. All day whenever someone wanted a drink or a snack I would run to go get it for them. I think Sarah Margaret's job was way better.

We did a few overnight trips on the sail boat too. Marg and I slept in the musty compartment in the bow of the boat. It was always very creepy how you could hear the water sloshing around outside. There were also a lot of pesky dirt dobbers down below that we had to kill too. Sailing was a fun family thing, but once we were old enough we decided we needed more speed. So we sold the sail boat and got a ski boat. I think Dad will own a sail boat again one day. Maybe next time I can be first mate. A girl can dream, right?

The Importance of a Valentine-or 9

This memory is one of my Grandmama Ruth's favorite of me. You know how Grandmamas tend to retell the same stories over and over? Well this is one of her classics about me.

My parent's had gone out of town so Grandmama Ruth had come to stay with Sarah Margaret, Dennis, and me. I was in first grade at the time. It was the week of Valentine's day and my class was going to have a party on Friday. (Side note: elementary school parties are the best. It's like the room moms need to show their superiority to the other room moms so they go all out.) We had made little mail boxes to put on our desks out of milk cartons so that we could receive all the wonderful Valentines that our classmates would give us. I feel like everyone harbored that secret fear that their mailbox would be empty on Valentine's Day...or maybe it was just me. Anyway, we decorated our milk cartons with paper hearts and crayon scribbles, they were all so beautiful and anxiously awaiting the cards and candy that would fill them. My teacher, Mrs. Daniels, sent out the class list so that we would know how many Valentines to buy and to make sure we would not forget anyone. Of course my class was too big for one box of Valentine's to be enough, so I had to buy two boxes and have so many left overs. I always wondered what to do with my left over Valentines, but in first grade I found a use for them.

I remember being at the drug store and picking out Valentines with arctic animals on them. The specific card I remember had a penguin on it and it said "You are so chill, Valentine." I loved them. So I laid out all my cards on the table and began the painstakingly slow process of a first grader writing every name in her class. I gave the cute ones to my best friends and the ugly ones to the people I didn't really like, or the boys who I thought had cooties. However, there was one boy in particular that I was sure did not have cooties and his name was Cody. So when I was left with nine extra Valentines and no one to give them to, I decided that they should all go to Cody. When Grandmama came in to see if I was finished she noticed the ridiculous number of cards with Cody's name and hearts around it on them. Being a wise woman, she asked me if I really thought that Cody would like me just because I gave him nine Valentines. I said yes, that would make him like me. Well I was right.

The week after Valentine's Day and our class party, Cody was chosen to be Student of the Week. In Mrs. Daniels' class one of the privileges of being student of the week was getting to sit on the big red couch during story time with one friend of your choice. Well every day that week Cody chose me to sit on the couch with him. I could tell it was getting serious when he gave me a ring that he had won in a gumball machine. It was lime green plastic with a shiny silver triangle on top. Unfortunately, before I could even put it on my finger he got embarrassed and threw it behind the couch. I guess that was the end of Caroline and Cody. O well. My nine Valentines were worth it for that one week of story time on the big red couch.

Sometimes people can diminish the importance of a Valentine, but if you think back to your elementary school parties I think everyone will remember how special they felt when they were going through their milk carton mailbox and reading all the little notes people had written. The ones with candy attached were especially exciting. Sometimes it takes nine Valentines just to tell someone how you feel. Grandmama still thinks it was a silly plan.

Dandelions- The Craft Children's Cash Crop

Every Spring dandelions would start popping up all over our yard, and all over our neighbors yards. The little yellow flowers were everywhere! We also had the fluffy white dandelion seed pods in abundance. One year Dad had had enough. He did not want the pesky weeds in our yard anymore. He gathered us together and told the three of us that we would pay us $0.10 for every dandelion that we picked that season. The three of us happily agreed to that. So we went out into the yard to start picking. We soon realized that we could easily pick all the dandelions in our yard in one afternoon. That would not be very profitable. So we started picking the seed pods too and blowing them around of course. That way more dandelions would soon sprout up and we could make more money. Also, if we knew that Mom and Dad were not watching us we would go over into the neighbors' yards and pick a lot of their dandelions. At the end of every week Dad would count up our dandelions and pay us what we had earned. It was a great system. Not too much work and a lot of reward. $0.10 can add up quickly, especially when you are 9. All in all I made $30.00 that Spring. I thought I was rich. But really, 300 dandelions is not that many. I am sure I spent the money on something really important like Pound Puppies or a new Barbie outfit. Sarah Margaret and Dennis made even more money than I did. Dad did not offer us the same bargain next Spring. I guess he would rather have a few dandelions in the yard than pay us over $100 to pick them.